Marital Disagreements Reveal Climate Of The Marriage

Date: May-26-2012According to a study by a Baylor University researcher entitled 'The Communication of Emotion During Conflict in Married Couples', married couples are usually very good at recognizing each other's emotions during conflicts. The study, published in the American Psychological Association's Journal of Family Psychology also reveals that if one partner is angry, it may reveal more about the overall climate of their marriage than about what the other partner is feeling at the time of the dispute.

Keith Sanford, Ph.D., an associate professor of psychology and neuroscience in Baylor University's College of Arts & Sciences says: "If your partner is angry, you are likely to miss the fact that your partner might also be feeling sad."

Sanford states:

"I found that people were most likely to express anger, not in the moments where they felt most angry, but rather in the situations where there was an overall climate of anger in their relationship - situations where both partners had been feeling angry over a period of time. This means that if a couple falls into a climate of anger, they tend to continue expressing anger regardless of how they actually feel ... It becomes a kind of a trap they cannot escape."

The most typical reasons for arguments between couples are money, in-laws, chores, affection and time spent on the computer. Sanford discovered that those who express anger often also feel sad, yet whilst a partner is generally good at quickly spotting whether their partner is angry, they often fail to notice that they may be sad. He said: "When it comes to perceiving emotion in a partner, anger trumps sadness."

According to earlier research, genuine expressions of sadness during an argument can sometimes result in partners becoming closer to each other, which can potentially diffuse an angry climate.

Sanford continued: "A take-home message is that there may be times where it is beneficial to express feelings of sadness during conflict, but sad feelings are most likely to be noticed if you are not simultaneously expressing anger."

Sanford based his results on surveying 83 married couples in addition to observing and rating their behavior by permitting research assistants to videotape the couple through a one-way mirror. Sanford asked the couples to discuss two areas of conflict, with each partner being allowed to choose one area before rating their own emotions and those of their partners before and after each discussion.

Sanford remarked that couples' "insider knowledge" of each other was expected to make it easier for them to read each other. However, the study revealed that the only time couples used their inside knowledge of each other extensively in order to distinguish emotions was when they read soft emotions, like hurt or disappointment in conflicts about specific events.

Sanford stated that although women displayed more soft emotions than men, they were no better at perceiving hard emotions like anger or soft ones.

Written By Petra Rattue

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